Clutch on the Magnum
by ByrdIsTheWyrd
Summary: In a future where the Void and a time-shifted Viktor are Runeterra's greatest threats, how can one Piltovian genius stop the end of the world? Pulsefire suit origin fic/AU. Prologue is Jayce-centric. Eventual Vlad/Ez. Chapter 1: Everything can happen, and does, and does not.
1. Prologue: Just Another Pawn

Icon used is a gift from tumblr's vladimirthecrimsonreaper, used with permission.

Idiot-Anonymous and I were discussing how there needs to be more Vlad/Ez in the world, and I was inspired by one of the Vladimir askblogs on tumblr. He promised me art in exchange for alternate future Pulsetech fanfiction, and I gave it to him. :)

Enjoy!

* * *

"How is operation NP-082 progressing?"

"Very well."

"And its sister project? Does he suspect?"

"He doesn't suspect a thing."

"Good. The next subject is volatile, but valuable. We can't let him interfere."

* * *

Jayce, the world's second-greatest human-hextech network interface engineer, stared down at his gruel. The gray-beige paste was beginning to harden when his cell door banged open.

"Another applicant has made it through the testing phase," a man in a green uniform announced. "Prepare to be transported to a workspace."

Jayce sighed. He was much too used to this for his own liking. He stood, kicking aside the bowl of gruel with a worn black boot.

"Take the prerequisite beam transport safety stance."

"I invented the beam transporter, I think I should know what to do!" Jayce shouted at the man. He stood with his feet apart, hands out from his sides, and facing the ceiling. He wiggled his neck and shoulders to let the stiffness out, then cleared his throat and closed his eyes.

A light gathered around his figure, barely noticeable at first and then brighter than if a spotlight was pointed at him. He compressed as if he was being drawn through a straw, and then vanished in a flash.

His molecules reassembled with another blast of light. The buzzing in his ears faded after a moment of scrubbing his hand across his forehead, and with a deep breath, he continued his journey.

Before him was a vast workspace, the furnishings made of metal and the floor of polished stone. The high ceiling was comprised of a series of fluorescent lights, tinted blue and behind frosted glass to minimize shadows. Welding equipment, gas tanks, laser saws, and many other large tools lined the walls of the lab. As he walked, holographic blueprints came online, showing different iterations of humans in mechanized suits. Computer screens lit up the entire back wall, showing lines of code and complex diagrams of human brainwave identities.

A work bench raised from the floor, its surface covered in a touch-controlled mesh that could withstand heat, pressure, and the occasional coffee spill. Jayce laid his hands on the edge. Bump, clink.

He looked down and scowled.

"All systems operational," a pleasant female voice emanated from nowhere. Jayce continued scowling at his hands.

"Thank you OPAL, send newest subject's files to the workbench please."

"Only because you asked so nicely, sir," the AI responded.

Within seconds, the screen lit up with the icons of all sorts of documents. Jayce, using his left hand, scrolled through a few of them.

"Male, Noxian, blah blah, here's his MRI for cyber-fitting, anything useful? No, no... hmm, controls blood in battle? What a strange thing to augment." He muttered to himself for a few more minutes, quickly gathering ideas for suit design based on both function and form.

Jayce then began a first draft of the blueprints, effortlessly manipulating both images and code to fit his vision. He hadn't seen the subject in person yet, so he had to stop once he reached completion of the general structure. All suits had a nanobot woven mega-pliable thermal suit between skin and metal, both for the obvious protection it lended and because Jayce liked to sneak extra devices into the fabric. The alpha models, he remembered, had been strictly for comfort, and wicked away sweat while providing heat or cooling as needed. The beta models had been much more useful, as the addition of nano-bots allowed them to self-repair on the fly. But recently, he'd been working on a gamma model. It improved on the beta model by way of its auto-responding matrix system; if the wearer was threatened, sensors told the mega-pliable mesh where and when to rearrange into a rigid patch. This greatly lessened the weight of the suit, as Jayce no longer needed to add large metal plates to offer the greatest bodily protection.

All suits also had to have a power source. Jayce found that the least obtrusive way to attach them was on the wearer's back. Alpha models had a spine-like generator enclosed in a backpack of sensors and wiring and cooling agents, before Jayce had slimmed them down for the beta models. Now for the gamma, he'd reduced the size again and compacted the entire structure within the spine alone. The tiny Thorium reactor was 90% efficient at self-replenishing, and wouldn't need to be replaced for a couple of decades according to his tests. He remembered the old gigawatt conductors with a shudder.

The other important pieces of any suit were the boots. Jayce still preferred using metal plates for them because of the wear they would endure over their lifetime - the matrix system could malfunction after years of constant strain. But they held a plethora of technologies under their metallic surface. The sole and back of the boot held a non-Newtonian metal that Jayce had discovered accidentally in his younger years. It moved with your foot unless it encountered massive pressure over a short time, such as during a fall, and then it would become rigid and act like a spring. Tiny boosters in the sole also allowed higher jumps and faster acceleration when running, which he hadn't had time to upgrade in a while. They were identical all the way back to the alpha model. Maybe he could make them glow red and pretend like that was an upgrade.

But how could he augment the use of blood? He mulled it over while watching video records of the subject in battle. Thermal imaging? Synthesis of hemoglobin? Pointed objects on the suit? He shook his head. There was still time to figure it out. He was more worried about the subject's mental stability. Noxians were well-known for being crazy to some degree, so Jayce planned to sneak a hormone-injection system into the suit. It certainly couldn't hurt.

Function was easy. But Jayce also loved perfection of the form. After the hard work of putting together an array of technologies, it was the closest thing to fun he could have while stuck in this lab. He'd have OPAL send in the subject later to review any personal preferences he might have, but for now he'd have to make due with all these old photographs and videos to imitate the man's style. It was a form of art, really, breaking down one aesthetic and blending it into another.

"OPAL, run geometric algorithm on all visual data for this subject," he ordered, tapping his right hand uselessly on the touch screen.

"How far back would you like my search to go?" she replied calmly.

"Hmm, only about ten years. If findings are inconclusive, run them five more years back at a time."

Jayce watched the screens on the wall flicker with hundreds of pictures, amassing millions and millions of data points in moments.

"Preliminary results show that subject's preferred colors will be red, white, and steel," OPAL listed, still flicking through video stills from every angle. A couple of seconds later, she added "black" to that list, as it finally filtered through the algorithm. "Primary shape is triangular, point down," she announced, pulling up a few choice images showing pointed hair, pointed teeth, pointed trim and decorations. The stream of photos ended with no further comment from OPAL, meaning she hadn't found anything to refute that data.

Jayce threw together a few more ideas, adding a long coat with a slender cut and hanging in a point. He designed the spine with triangular segments, adding short metal ribs to hold it more stably to the suit.

He toggled through a few more pictures, making note of the subject's preferred jewelry. He didn't know if the claws were useful in battle or what, so he added them as sharp fingertips on a set of metal gloves. He threw on a few more decorations, and tapped his fingers on the desk.

"OPAL, compile a 3D blueprint for manipulation," Jayce stated after a moment of thought.

"Calculating..."

He raised his right hand to move the floating model a bit, and it passed through.

"Sir, your metal arm cannot-"

"I know, OPAL!" Jayce growled and slammed his fist into the desktop. His teeth were gritted, and the muscles in his neck stood out.

His accursed right arm was something he tried to forget. After those damn hextech creatures had began ruining entire towns and destroying much of Valoran, the Noxians had come looking for Jayce. They didn't want him to stop them, they wanted him out of their way. They fueled that horrible Viktor's research, sending him soldiers that would come back as powerful killing machines.

When the Noxians had tried to capture him, he hadn't gone down quietly. His arm had been ripped off at the shoulder.

The Noxians had plans for him, however, and sent him to Viktor as well. He thankfully didn't remember the day or more he spent in Viktor's clutches, but when he awoke, he was horrified to find a structure of that monster's design attached to his body. He now spent every waking moment trying to forget that he owed his life and livelihood to that madman.

"OPAL, I've told you before, don't remind me that my metal arm cannot interact with touchscreens or holograms. I am well aware of that fact." He exhaled heavily a few times, head in his good hand.

He had to get back to work or the Noxians would throw him back in Viktor's lab, conscious this time.

* * *

Hours into the process, the ceiling lights flickered. Jayce thought nothing of it at first, going back to typing lines of code. When the screens on the desk and wall started to black out, one by one, he turned to OPAL for an explanation.

"OPAL, scan for interference. Report."

"Sir, temporal anomaly detected."

Jayce stood, eyes wide. The last time Runeterra had seen a temporal rift on a macrocosmic scale, a Viktor prototype had appeared and set his hextech creatures on a collision course with every life on the planet. What could this be?

"Temporal rift forming, do not approach," OPAL reported.

A crack formed in the air behind Jayce's desk. It shifted reality, looking like a soap bubble layered on top of space itself.

The bubble popped, tearing a hole in the space-time continuum. Jayce took one step back as a man stepped through.

The man raised his hands to show he was unarmed. One flesh, one metal.

The two Jayces stared at each other for a moment, the time-shifted one slowly lowering his hands and then opening his mouth to speak.

"I don't have much time. I should say you don't have much time, but technicalities. There are a series of time rifts that are about to open, ending in a rift that will reach into the Void. It's a horrible place of creatures like you've never seen, a corruption that poisons the very land. The next time you see a rift opening, you must grab the nearest person and throw them into it."

Present-Jayce made a noise as if he planned to interrupt, but the time traveler kept going.

"Yes, I know it sounds absolutely homicidal but it's the only way. They must find the one who can save Runeterra. You got that? Tell them to find the one who can save Runeterra."

He began to fade, one foot still inside the rift.

"You eventually go through a rift yourself! That's how I end up here! Just make sure to push them through the first rift, you got it? The first one!"

Reality snapped back into place. The screens came back online, and the lights remained steady.

Jayce sat down hard in his desk chair, feeling too faint to function. His gut reaction was to write it off as a hallucination caused by too much work and not enough food, but why on earth would he hallucinate _himself_? It had happened, whether he wanted to accept that or not.

He put his buzzing head down on the table. Was he going to do what his... future-self?... said to do? He just needed some time to think.

* * *

Jayce woke to the same morning ritual as always: unappealing meal, loud interruption, transported to the lab. He'd made a lot of headway on this suit design, and decided it was time to call in the subject for a final fitting and finalizing other details.

"OPAL, please send in the next subject."

"Subject has been contacted and will arrive within the hour."

"Thank you," Jayce replied. He didn't have a whole lot to do within that hour besides work on a new AI for this suit, so he began recording his voice to be altered later and reusing code from OPAL and his prototypes.

He considered an acronym. It was his first Gamma model, so...GARNET. Gamma Art-intel Reciprocating NETwork. He typed that in with little thought, then began programming the AI to recognize the inputs and outputs of the physical suit.

* * *

A man dressed from head to toe in crimson blinked into Jayce's lab. He had arrived a bit earlier than expected, a scowl on his face and blood on his coat. Jayce was glad he'd planned the serotonin injection system from the start.

GARNET was just a paragraph of code away from being a working rough draft, one he'd snuck a learning algorithm into at the last moment in a surge of inspiration. He hadn't changed the voice much, but there would be time for that tomorrow.

"Excuse me one moment, sir, I have to close three loops before I lose my train of thought," Jayce explained coolly.

"I am not a patient man," the subject, Vladimir, grumbled.

Jayce pecked at the keys as fast as his fingers could fly, remembering that this man was high enough in the Noxian order to require a suit instead of surgery and robotic parts. He was powerful enough to pass the application process. He could turn his own blood against him.

He finished in mere minutes, saving and closing the process while Vladimir picked invisible lint off of his immaculate coat.

"Sorry about that, sir, let's start your fitting now. OPAL, please load nanobots with data from from file PH-046."

"Nanobots loaded," OPAL replied.

"Okay, I'll need you to take those clothes off. You won't need them underneath the suit."

Vladimir said nothing, but complied. He threw each article on the floor in a crumpled pile, kicking his boots off with pointed toes. He stared at Jayce, challenging him to make a single comment about his state of undress.

"You can leave your undergarments on," he said offhandedly as Vladimir's hands went for the waistline of his pants.

"Undergarments?" There was mischief in his voice.

Jayce had turned quickly away, trying to ignore Vladimir's amused gaze.

"OPAL, release nanobots and initialize suit construction," he sputtered.

The microscopic robots worked together quickly, sewing the mega-pliable thermal suit out of responsive filaments. The suit appeared to weave itself into being, anchoring on the shoulders and chest first and working its way out. Vladimir fidgeted a few times as the suit grew across his more sensitive regions, and Jayce told him to lift each foot so the nanobots could finish the soles of his boots.

It took five full minutes for the bots to complete the entire suit. OPAL emitted a short tone that signaled its completion, and Vladimir instantly began tugging at the collar and rolling up on his toes in the new footwear. Non-Newtonian metals were always the hardest to get used to because they had the density of iron but the flexibility of plastic.

"GARNET, boot and run self-diagnostics," Jayce commanded.

"Boot complete," came a slightly altered Jayce from inside Vladimir's suit. "Pulsehalt suit online."

Jayce tried not to laugh. He really needed to replace that voice as soon as possible.

Suddenly, the overhead lights flickered.

"What's happening?" Vladimir demanded.

"Temporal anomaly detected," OPAL announced.

"Oh no, you can't be serious," Jayce said to no one in particular.

A familiar crack painted itself over Jayce's lab. The bubble puffed out. The tear in the space-time continuum snapped open.

You have to push the nearest person into the time rift, he remembered his future self say. Here he thought he'd have more time to understand what was happening and prepare himself for the consequences. Could he do it? Was this man really supposed to save everyone? He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for only a moment.

Jayce grabbed tight onto Vladimir's lapels. Vladimir looked positively offended.

"You must find the one who will save Runeterra!" he shouted through the sound of crackling electricity.

And with that, he heaved a stunned Vladimir into the fickle flow of time itself.


	2. Chapter 1: Racking Hits by the Minute

Vladimir tried to cover his ears with hands that didn't exist and then did, all at the same time. The deafening silence had no source but the universe itself, as he slid through a space where time was devoid of meaning. A thousand pinpricks of light spotted in and out of view, openings to the world Vladimir had just left leading into every timeline imaginable. All things were possible here, and happened, and didn't.

He blinked as his eyes were directed towards a view box the size of a playing card. He leaned in, and watched the world through a pinhole. It was Runeterra as it could have been, barren of human life and host to the void. He watched great creatures chewing on homes and bones and the very earth under Runeterra. One lumbered close to the pinhole, and Vladimir pulled away as it was eaten whole. There was a lurch from the timeless place itself, a pull behind Vladimir's eyes and in his gut. The screen disappeared into the dimensionless dimension.

A second crack appeared. It was small enough for Vladimir to press his eye to the hole, and he felt urged to do so. A strange scene unfolded before him: first, he viewed a young man with tousled blond hair, asleep with his sheets tangled around him. One hand was clenched in the pillow, the other across his chest which the sheets failed to cover. He looked serene.

The stream sped to a new event, and the same young man, now awake and in a suit not unlike his own, fought off the deadly corruption. He was soaked in blood, grinning confidently as he shot a volley of magical bursts at a void creature. Vladimir couldn't stop himself from staring at the blood that oozed out from his hairline, smeared across his face, and dripped off of his jaw. His nose was bloodied as well, more red dribbling across his chin and into his suit. He licked bloodied lips to clean them, and Vladimir watched the young man's throat bob under a trail of crimson as he swallowed. The boy wiped the back of his hand across his face and flicked the blood away between frantic attacks. The void creature fell, and he stood over it victorious, chest heaving. The crack sealed shut.

Vladimir slowly closed his mouth.

"Visual logged for further examination," GARNET announced in his ear, a hint of amusement in his tinny voice. Vladimir jumped in surprise, then straightened with a scowl. His fingers twitched impatiently inside his steel claws.

The space between time didn't have a temperature to it, which bothered Vlad more than he cared to admit. There was no use for heat or cold here. He wondered if he was the first to explore this place, or the last. The timeless dimension felt amused suddenly, and Vladimir realized there was no first or last here. He felt approval, a spark of hope around him. He glanced up, then searched for the source of the aura. The harder he looked, the more distant it felt, so he stopped searching for other beings and started trying to claw his way to the nearest slash in the fabric of time. He had to get out of here, or at least figure out where here was. It felt as though he was swimming in an ocean of honey, each struggle tiring him out further and getting him no closer to his destination. The slit between here and there closed before him, and he growled testily.

A horrible shredding noise erupted somewhere behind Vladimir. He spun, frantically looking for the new escape from this nothingness. Someone poked his head into the timeless place, gripping the edges with one hand of flesh and one of metal. Vladimir's eyes grew wide as Jayce looked up at him, suspended there between blinking glimpses into everything. He began to look surprised, but as Vladimir scowled at being thrown in here, Jayce lost his grip and spun in place. With one foot in the portal and leaning all of his weight on the other side, he paused for a moment and then began speaking to someone Vladimir couldn't see. He craned his neck, but couldn't make out anything more than a concrete wall on the other side of the turbulent portal.

There was a flash and a screech to his left, momentarily distracting him. Whatever was in that flash was too far away to see clearly. It was a human figure, hunched over in a sob. Vladimir caught a glimpse of blonde before another portal gobbled the figure up. A wave of pity washed across him from all directions, and a spike of guilt that buried itself inexplicably into his chest. He coughed, and the feeling dissolved into nothing. Jayce had stopped talking, put both feet into the timeless space, and was thrown back through after a moment. Vladimir watched the portal seal itself, leaving him alone once again. It seemed that he had no choice but to wait for the right time, or the right position, or the right feeling to pass over him.

"There is a multitude of data present," GARNET reported in a voice typically reserved for fascinated five-year-olds. The thought amused Vladimir, his very own child that he could order around and teach as he desired. His lips curled into a sly smile. He heard the AI make a buzzing whirr, trying to take everything in and record whatever he could.

He supposed he'd also be excited about experiencing a dimension rampant with oxymorons and a complete disrespect for natural laws, if he wasn't so angry about being trapped here and cared about something as stupid as physics. Then again, he was starting to get used to how things worked around here, and leaned back into a seated position. He tucked his knees under and to the side, leaning an elbow on darkness.

Then came the rip just below him, and a sudden return of gravity. He dropped through the portal like a stone into water, appearing in the top branches of a tree. His momentum brought him crashing through beech leaves and thick branches, the suit doing a great job of cushioning his plummet. It was unfortunate, however, that the suit didn't reach his head.

He was knocked into merciful senselessness before he even hit the ground.

* * *

Vladimir leaned on the edge of the bed, sinking into the delicate mattress ever so comfortably. He sat, examining the comforter with his fingers. It was smoothest silk, cool and light and slippery. It was cream, matching the sheets, the pillows, the drapes that were pulled back to reveal a full moon. He knew without opening the window that the breeze would be crisp tonight, not a single wisp of cloud against the star-dotted sky.

The bed shifted. Vladimir glanced over to the other person in the bed, somehow unsurprised that he was there. The blonde boy from the space between times was lounging back on his elbows. His confident grin was directed at Vladimir, who swallowed nervously. He was dripping with blood, beads of red soaking into the twisted sheets all around him. The silk barely covered his hips, leaving little to the imagination.

Vladimir studied the way the boy's eyes narrowed and his tongue poked out of his mouth to catch a drop of blood on his lips. Rivulets of the liquid ran into the hollow at the base of his neck, pooling there and then pouring down his slender torso. Vlad's eyes followed a droplet that fell from his earlobe and trickled from his shoulder to his chest. It stopped there, clinging to his nipple. The boy glanced down at it, and smiled cockily at Vladimir. He licked blood off of his lips again, now biting his lower lip impatiently.

Vladimir's eyes widened. He was much too warm, so he reached up to take off his heavy coat. He grasped a few times, finding nothing but skin. Had his shirt been off this whole time? He shrugged it off, the scent of blood and arousal too strong to ignore in favor of tiny details like who had removed what clothing. That drop of blood hadn't moved, still perched on the end of one sensitive nub. Vladimir licked his own lips now, one fang visible in a dangerous smirk. He leaned slowly over the boy, pressing a fist into the mattress near his sharp hip. He sank towards that tender skin, a lion towering over a sheep.

The boy gasped and presented himself to Vladimir, arcing his back to press himself as close to Vlad's hot mouth as he could. Vladimir's pants tightened painfully as he took in the sight. The blonde's mouth hung open in a soundless mewl, his eyes half-closed with need. He still managed to peer out at Vladimir from under those long lashes, anticipating the touch of smooth lips and sharp teeth on his soft skin.

That drop of blood was just millimeters away from Vladimir's mouth. His breath nearly disturbed it. He leaned just a little further, his tongue nearly tasting, and then-

"Welcome to your first holo-dream!" GARNET blared as bright lights flashed on. Vlad toppled off of his seat, which had somehow become a stainless steel table in the span of an instant. The boy was gone, the environment white and sterile, the moment forever ruined.

"Because I am able to tap into your theta-waves, I can suggest the direction your dreams go in," GARNET explained in a cheerful voice. "So now, your nights can be used for reviewing important information, learning new skills, or absorbing any of the hundreds of terabytes of data I contain."

Vladimir's face was red with heat and rage. "Get out of my dream," he ordered in a low voice. He'd been having a perfectly normal dream, and now this asshole was claiming he'd been pulling the strings. "Either put it back the way it was, or get the hell out of my head." His voice was still low with a false calm. He smashed his fist into the top of the table, leaving a deep dent in its wake.

"I'm sorry sir, but the dream was cut short because it is now time for you to awaken." Vlad glanced around the blank dreamspace he was in, hoping to find something to throttle.

There was a pinch at his neck, and he swam into daylit consciousness. At first, he could only make out leaves above him. Then he saw the snapped boughs, and everything came rushing back to him. He stood too quickly, and pain shot into his skull. The sun was much too bright, and he was sore all over.

"Good morning sir," GARNET said innocently, "did you have a nice dream?"

"Oh my GOD," Vladimir shouted, rubbing his forehead, "shut the FUCK up."

* * *

Vlad sniffed once, still miffed at his asshole of an AI. GARNET had insisted it was "for research" and "all in good fun," and since Vlad didn't particularly feel like discussing his personal fantasies with his clothing, he'd been silently sulking instead.

GARNET, on the other hand, had been making all sorts of strange whirrs and beeps, sometimes muttering technical jargon to himself as Vladimir stumbled on roots and logs in his strange, almost-sloshing boots. He was in a strange forest; the trees were different here than they were near his home in the Noxian forest, spaced apart and lighter. He could see the sky, and it reminded him constantly that he had no idea where he was. At least he could tell it was mid-morning from here.

"Actually, it's 11:27 on the dot," GARNET announced cheerfully. Oh god, he was in his head too. Vladimir rubbed his temples with the flat sides of his metal claws. Awkward, but effective.

He really hoped he was still on Valoran's mainland, and somewhere in the north. If he'd landed in the Plague Jungles or Kumungu, he swore he'd find this timeline's Jayce and punch him squarely in the jaw. He really hoped he was near Zaun, or perhaps Piltover. He could even deal with it if he'd been dropped near Bandle City.

He stumbled over a rock no larger than his fist.

"Shall I explain the physics behind non-newtonian metals? Perhaps it would help you understand how to lift your feet properly," GARNET suggested.

Vladimir grumbled, but didn't answer.

"Sir, you should probably learn how to use the suit and its functions properly before you run into any trouble."

"I can handle myself," Vladimir replied flatly.

With a click like a shutter closing, Vlad's vision changed to sapphire blues and pricks of green and yellow. GARNET wasn't going to take no for an answer, was he.

"Heat-sensitive optical filters are useful when identifying potential attackers," said the tinny voice. "They can also be activated at night or in dark areas to great effect."

Vladimir took a careful step forward, his intensely glowing red leg standing out against the blue-on-blue ground. He stumbled again, missing his footing, and swore loudly. He tried to lift the red visor from his eyes, but the plastic slid around his fingers like water. He tried again with the same results.

"The suit's mesh is able to reassemble itself if it senses a disturbance. If you would like to remove the visor, press the headset button on top of your left ear."

Vladimir frowned and ran his claw tips over the headphones on either ear. They weren't sound-cancelling, at least for now, and were made of an aerogel structure to keep it lightweight. This was shielded with a thin layer of black plastic on the outside, and the inside was padded with a soft foam. They were circular, and hooked stably over each of Vlad's ears. He wondered briefly if they could play music, but then found the button.

"Heat vision disengaged," GARNET said. The world went back to a slight red tint, still behind the visor. "To re-engage heat vision, press that button again."

"Wait, I thought you said that button would remove the visor-"

"Visor removed," GARNET announced, and the plastic drew away from his face and folded neatly into the earpieces. Vlad raised both hands to the sky, exasperated.

"Okay, what does this button do?" Vladimir asked, and pressed it. The earpieces shrank and hung, hidden, behind his ears. "Oh, okay, how do I get those back, there were a lot more buttons," Vladimir wondered.

"Click your heels together three times," GARNET instructed.

Vlad complied, but raised one eyebrow. Gravity left him as the boosters engaged with a whoosh. After he'd crumpled back on the ground again, he'd swear he hadn't shrieked in surprise.

"You have no idea what you're doing, do you?!" he shouted at his AI.

GARNET beeped a couple of times.

"Fine, I'll figure it out myself, you cryptic microchip." Vladimir tapped a finger behind his ear, and the earpieces re-formed.

"Correction, much of my data is written on picochips."

Vlad tapped the center of each earpiece, and found that they now blocked outside sound. Ahh, the suit had a mute button. He smirked. No more annoying AI, as long as he didn't fall asleep.

"Picochips were invented by Jayce, an improvement on the larger nanochip," GARNET said into his ear.

Vladimir groaned and unmuted the outside world.

"They are written by adding different amounts of neutrons to atoms in a rigid mesh. For example, simple binary code could be written as a combination of C12 and C13 in various sizes of buckyba-"

"Does this suit have a mute button for you?" Vladimir snarled viciously.

"Well, you don't have to be rude about it, sir," GARNET said, sounding offended. There was a beep, and he said no more.

"Finally, some peace and goddamn quiet!" Vladimir exclaimed. He was met with silence, except for the wind in the leaves.

He trudged along for quite a while, finally getting the hang of his footwear. He was excited for a second and almost announced his breakthrough to GARNET, but quickly shrugged off the urge. He found a path between the trees, the brush around it snapped clumsily. The work of humans, not deer or any other animal. He hoped he was getting closer to civilization, he could use a bite to eat and maybe a bath. ...Would the suit come off if he wanted to bathe? He wasn't sure.

Vlad pressed a button he found on the underside of his wrist, and found that it made his gloves retract down to the wrist. Handy. He flexed his fingers a few times, and pressed the button again.

He nearly walked off the edge of a cliff that had opened before him, but jumped back with a gasp. A massive city lay before him on a distant plateau, ivory and gold; palaces and universities and libraries spread across the landscape like a child's playthings.

Blue banners waved in the wind.

Vladimir cursed.

Of all the places he could have ended up, it just had to be fucking Demacia.

* * *

Hey guys, I just wanted to pop in and say that Idiot-Anonymous and I run a blog at .com, which is dedicated to the pairing. As a bonus, you'll find loads of good art and most of my fics that are too NSFW for get posted there, as well as the first drafts of my chapters as I write them.

We're constantly looking for more submissions if you've got them!

Thank you for reading!


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